When Samwise wakes up after the destruction of the ring, Gandalf explains what day it is:

The fourteenth of the New Year…or if you like the eith day of April in the Shire reckoning. But in Gondor the New Year will always now begin upon the twenty-fifth of March, when Sauron fell, and when you were brought out of the fire to the King.

Maybe you think dates are an odd thing, and rather silly to mention. However, this is actually a rather important moment of “eucatastrophe” in the Lord of the Rings. A “eucatastrophe” is a word coined by Tolkien himself that he defines as “the good catastrophe, the sudden and joyous turn” in a story. At this point in the story, all things seemed that they would fail, but suddenly the One Ring is destroyed, Sauron is defeated, and Sam and Frodo are saved from the brink of death. So why the date? What does it have to do with a larger meaning of the story? Tom Shippey helps us tie all of this together from a rather sly move on Tolkien’s part:

No one any longer celebrates the twenty-fifth of March, and Tolkien’s point is accordingly missed, as I think he intended. He inserted it only as a kind of signature, a personal mark of piety. However, as he knew perfectly well, in old English tradition, 25th March is the date of the Crucifixion, of the first Good Friday. As Good Friday is celebrated on a different day each year, Easter being a mobile date defined by the phrases of the moon, the connection has been lost, except for one thing. In Gondor the New Year will always begin on 25th March, and the same is true of England, in a sadly altered and declined fashion. When the Julian calendar gave way to the Gregorian in 1752, there was an eleven-day discrepancy between them, so that the 25th March jumped to being the 6th of April. But only the tax year, which no one sees as a moment of eucatastrophe.

25th March remains a date deeply embedded in the Christian calendar. In old tradition, again, it is the date of the Annunciation and the conception of Christ – naturally, nine months exactly before Christmas, 25th December. It is also the date of the Fall of Adam and Eve, the felix culpa who disastrous effects the Annunciation and the Crucifixion were to annul or repair. One might note that in the Calendar of dates which Tolkien so carefully wrote out in Appendix B, December 25th is the day on which the Fellowship sets out from Rivendell. The main action of The Lords of the Rings takes place, then, in the mythic space between Christmas, Christ’s birth, and the crucifixion, Christ’s death.

(Tom Shippey, J.R.R. Tolkien: Author of the Century, p. 208-9)

This moment in the book where Gandalf tells Sam the date – which we see is more important than might be suspected – is immediately preceded by Sam exclaiming:

Gandalf! I thought you were dead! But then I thought I was dead myself. Is everything sad going to come untrue? What’s happened to the world?

I think good’ol Samwise (my favorite character) captures the sense that all Christians should feel about the coming Easter season. Everything sad is coming untrue, by the blood of the Lamb who was slain, by the eucatastrophe of the Cross.

Book recommendations
During this series I’ve included several book suggestions at the end of each post. These are the books that have shaped my own thinking on this over the years, and I highly recommend them to other young men thinking about pastoral calling. And if you don’t like books, you’re probably not called to be a pastor. (Yes, that’s a serious comment.)

___________________________

And finally, verses 5 and 6:

You prepare a table before me
                        in the presence of my enemies;
            you anoint my head with oil;
                        my cup overflows.
            Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
                        all the days of my life,
            and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD
                        forever.

The greatest enemy of mankind is death, and the greatest feast any man or woman can enjoy is to delight in the victory of Christ over sin and death[1]. It is in this victory over death that the soul learns unending joy.  It is in the ministry of the Gospel that we enjoy his victory over death in the life of the Spirit.

Consider that all Christians are heading towards their true home, the heavenly house of God in the New Heavens and the New Earth, and that the Lord has instituted pastors as his workmen in helping his children sojourn home. The Spirit of God is building the house of God, made of living stones – people with lives and stories like you and me – to mirror the glory of Jesus Christ[2]. If you desire to be a workman of God, then you must study the only infallible tool of the Spirit[3], his Word[4]. It is the Lord’s Word that is more precious than gold and sweet as honey to the soul; perfect for reviving the soul; sure for making the simple wise; right for rejoicing the heart; pure for enlightening the eyes; clean and enduring forever; true and righteous altogether[5]. Learn to apply the Word to your own soul with Biblical, pastoral precision, finding encouragement when fainthearted, help in weakness, admonishment in idleness[6].  As you learn to do this with your own soul and those around you, the evidence of pastoral ministry will begin to show. As you learn the Word of God, a primary test for pastoral calling is how effectively you can communicate and teach the Scriptures[7]. A pastoral calling is not simply character, but public gifting to edify and strengthen the church. If we are a spiritual house (and we are) and the Spirit is the builder of the house (and he is) then the tool the Spirit uses is the Bible, perfect for all our needs.

Here we join our themes: As a man of the Word, you learn to guard yourself and will of the Shepherd as a humble lamb of Christ in service to the flock of God, which He obtained for life by his death, over whom the Spirit may make you an overseer[8]. A life towards pastoral ministry is one with this single eyed vision in mind: Serving the flock of God whom Christ procured at the cost of his own blood.

I will leave you with this: May the God of all peace tenderly carry you like a lamb, lead you in all your desires for ministry that you might have wisdom, and satisfy you with his unending river of joy through his Son Jesus Christ. To his name alone be glory and praise in the church, from his people and elders, forever and ever. Amen.

Yours in Christ,

Jacob Young

________________

Now let’s look at verse 4:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
                        I will fear no evil,
            for you are with me;
                        your rod and your staff,
                        they comfort me.

The Christian life is at its core a brutal thing. There is a mean streak in authentic Christianity[1] that looks sin square in the face, and wishes death upon it. But the source of that death is not the knife, or execution block, but the cross of Christ. It is the death of Christ that puts the sting of evil to death. I have found this reality to occur in two ways in my life:

First, In the sanctifying work of the Spirit. Though David is likely speaking about physical and spiritual peril in general, there is a legitimate application of this metaphor to the experience of sin in the soul, certainly a manifestation of death’s shadow. I have increasingly grown to know my own heart’s corruptions, and the inky shadow of sin therein most intensely around the question of calling. I used to think that fear of man was something that other people struggled with. How foolish! The more I think about the nature of pastoral ministry and think through the question of pastoral calling, increasingly I see how my heart uses it as a pretext to comparisons, presumptions, judgmental indictments, panderings for approval and acceptance. This is where my heart goes: I do not long for the Lord to bring about his perfect timing and plan for pastoral ministry, I must take charge, and when I take charge that which rules my heart rules my understanding. I long for the approval and respect due to a pastor. So I use words and deeds to manipulate people into giving me what my idols demand. In effect, I’ve stopped treating them like the Lord is their shepherd. Rather, my sinful heart proclaims: Jacob is their shepherd, and they shall serve me in perpetual want to see me satisfied! Thereby, in my sin I treat them not like people, but idolatry pawns. Oh the fiery sanctifying work of seeing this dark reality in my soul.

You will face this too. Your sin patterns may not be the same as mine, but you will see those deep-seated, dark areas that the Lord Jesus died to cleanse. So here remember this great reality: Fear not, for the power of sin is defeated in Christ, and even though he leads you to see the shadow of death in your heart, do not fear it, for the love of Christ conquers it by the power of the Spirit[2]. Slay those sinful roots by repenting at the foot of the cross of your Savior. Behold him and adore him. A mere repentance by staring sin in the face won’t do anything. Behold the face of your Savior dying for your sin, and meditate upon his glories. Think on his love for you to take you place under the wrath of the father. Think upon his generous, gregarious grace that welcomes you with constant mercy and love.  In meditating upon him, the Spirit gives grace for more strength and obedience[3].

Second, In the sweet and bitter providence of suffering. It is not for nothing that Christians have throughout the ages attested to the lessons they learn in suffering that no book can fully teach. If you live long enough, you will suffer. And the Lord will still be good. It is in these moments that you will need the grace of Christ to turn to God and pray, Your rod and your staff comfort me – For you are with me. However, consider that not only is your life as a Christian a call to suffering, but so too is the call to pastoral ministry[4]. You are called to suffer[5], like our Savior, the pain of sin and death so that the life, grace, and love of Christ might be manifested in the lives of his people. Are you willing to be the man who marches into the valley of the shadow of death, in the power of the Holy Spirit, to minister to Christ’s people? Sin and suffering are messy.  Ask yourself if you’re willing to be used by God in the mess. If you are, to prepare for the messiness of ministry, learn to listen and be with those in suffering. Do not be quick to tell people what to do with their suffering[6]. In your youth, listen. Pay attention to where God is working in their souls through those times, have eyes looking for Christ’s footprints, and seek to speak to them the comforts of a suffering king who walks with them through pain and sorrow[7]. As you see the grace of God in your life learn to lean on Jesus Christ. Lean heavily on the God of all comforts[8] so that you will know how to comfort others. If you learn these lessons, you will learn how to pastorally apply Paul’s simple command: Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep[9].

But that’s not really the most important thing here. In a man’s life there is the category of being a Christian, and the category of being a pastor (which not all men are called to), but the area in between is a bit nebulous. What does it look like to pursue pastoral ministry? A man is supposed to be humble, but how does he remain humble and pursue something so… forward and public? This is a category that seems under-served in my estimation in the available literature.

What follows is a paper I was recently assigned to write with the prompt: “Write a letter giving counsel to young men on how to prepare for pastoral ministry and steward their sense of call.” In thinking through the major lessons I’ve learned over the years in wrestling with the question “Am I called?” I settled on Psalm 23 as my motif. One of the pastors at our church, Jim Donohue, has had a massive impact on my life in caring for me and helping me think through this question. Years of investing and discipleship. I mention him because he’s not footnoted, but he’s on virtually every page. I putting this paper up with the hope that it serves other men thinking through the questions of pastoral ministry. Over the years I’ve found the question “Am I called?” to be a richer question than I’d expected, and not nearly demanding the sort of frantic answering and panicked solutions that so often plague my mind. If you’re called, you’re called – trust the Lord. If you’re not called to pastoral ministry, trust the Lord. This is his Church after all. Along these lines, books that have been helpful to me in thinking through this question are resourced bellow.

The original paper I wrote will be in three parts, with a final post available at the end of the week with the full paper downloadable by .pdf for those interested.

UPDATE: Part 2, Part 3.

Without further ado:

The Lord is my Shepherd
A life towards pastoral calling

By Jacob Young

To my brothers,

I pray for you regularly and hope that you are doing well. As our time together changes into a new season, I wanted to take a few moments to share some thoughts with you about the pursuit of pastoral calling – something I know is a desire of both of your hearts. What I want to do here is simply walk you through the 23^rd Psalm and apply it to a life thinking about pastoral ministry. I have, of course, not arrived, nor seen if in fact the Lord is calling me into pastoral ministry. But this I have known: The Lord is the ruler of my heart, and the Shepherd of my desires to serve him. The joys I have learned through my own process have been less about clarity of calling, and more about seeing and savoring Jesus Christ more passionately. I hope that some flavor of this is communicated through these meditations.

With that in mind, let’s begin with verses 1-3:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

David begins with this great governing reality over the Christian life: The Lord is my shepherd. This Lord is the one who promised his unfading, longsuffering, all sufficient grace and love to his people as their assurance of his promises. Is this not a staggering thought? The God of the universe stoops down and promises to shepherd, to protect, guide, and provide for a rag-tag group of people in the back-wood hills of the Middle East? He might as well have picked some unknown village in Montana! The foundation of claiming the Lord as shepherd is his own self-initiated grace[1]. The assurance we have that God will pull through with his grace to be my shepherd is that God built his promises upon himself – God is faithful to God, therefore he will be faithful to be my shepherd because he promises it.

This foundation of God’s faithfulness to God taps into a massive, powerful spring of life for the young man thinking about pastoral ministry. On the one hand, he sees that the call to pastoral ministry is a noble calling[2], that it shouldn’t be trifled with, and that those who are pastors are scrutinized more closely by God[3]. He might rightly tremble and whisper, “Who is sufficient for these things?[4]” But we must continually return to God’s promises being grounded in God as strength for the effectiveness of Christ’s ministry through us.

Over the years of the Lord’s leading in my life in thinking through the difficult questions of pastoral calling, I have known many dark moments and doubts. Am I wasting my time thinking about pastoral ministry? Will I ever have clarity about pastoral calling? Why would anybody want to follow me for their pastor? So-and-so is much more effective/useful/gifted/charismatic/etc. than I will ever be. These are all questions I’ve wrestled with, and the Lord himself has shepherded me through them to find the joy of simple faith in Jesus, to be satisfied with my Great Shepherd, to not occupy my mind with those plans of God for my life that are too hidden up in the mind of God for me to know[5]. It is in this reality of knowing that the Lord leads us and uses these desires for pastoral ministry, ambitions for the kingdom work of Christ, and mighty dreams to storm the fortresses of the World to guide us and quiet our souls in Christ. If anxiety rules your heart about the question of pastoral ministry, it is because you are not fully satisfied with your master – He leads you beside still waters. Questioning if you’re called or not should not rock your world, and if it does, it’s a good sign that there is an idol you’re serving (like Gollum’s precious). Jesus restores your soul – idols will always leave you wanting. The more you simply want Jesus and to make him look great, the simpler your desires are and the more content you are with wherever he places you to serve.

Knowing the Lord as your Shepherd means that you are a sheep. Sheep have no rights, they are absolutely governed by the will of their shepherd. Here I would underline this to help you think through realities of calling, office, and service. If there is a call to pastoral ministry on your life, you are called to an office that is fundamentally about serving; and service location and type is directed by Christ. Dream a dream of where to serve the Lord, but more fundamentally hold out the reality that you are called to serve wherever the need is, and that those needs are under the governance and providence of Christ. Lift up and work through your desires to serve Christ’s people; hold loosely your plans for how to do it. The Shepherd leads. Learn to be a good sheep and follow wherever he goes. Remember this, the Shepherd knows his sheep, and he knows the gifts he’s given you[6]. He won’t waste your gifting. Learn to be joyfully content with where the Lord is applying your gifting in faithful service. When you feel discontentment, you can be assured that you’re doing something wrong – rest your soul and dreams in Christ, and keep in step with the Spirit’s work in your life. In faithful service and use of gifting, you’re glorifying God to your maximum potential with your season of life exactly where he has you serving him in his church right now.

The path of thinking through pastoral ministry is fundamentally concerned with learning the man God has made you to be, the gifts God has given you, and how the Lord intends to lead you in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. The only reason to become a pastor is because the Great Pastor has instated you for that function in his flock[7]. Pastoral ministry will primarily be given to helping other people.

Along these lines, in an old post by Tony Reinke about the Sovereign Grace Ministries’ 2007 Leadership Conference, he caught my attention with an outline of Mark Dever’s seminar at that conference, Watch the Past: Living Lessons from Dead Theologians. (Note: Tony’s link is out of date. Follow this link for the message which is now free.) Refer to Tony’s post for the outline, but the basic premise is this: “He encouraged us to read on theological issues that are not a particular struggle at the time. Let the theologians talk about what they want to talk about.” Much like a Bible reading plan, this sort of system puts you in regular conversation with faithful men in the past to listen carefully to them without needing to rush. I’ve been thinking about what I want to read this year – being in February, I’m a bit behind – and so I thought this would help bring some gool’ol dead guy fun to the year, and hopefully for years to come.

The ‘canon of theologians’

January – Early church writings (1st-3rd centuries)

1. Early Christian Writings: The Apostolic Fathers (Penguin) or
2. The Apostolic Fathers in English ed. By Michael Holmes

I’ve missed January, so I’m not too concerned about catching up. I’ll swing around to this next year, or for bed-time reading in the future!

February – Augustine (354-430)

1. The Confessions  (Henry Chadwick edition, 352 pages).

When I was in college I majored in both English and Philosophy, with my English degree primarily focusing on Medieval Literature. My happy marriage between these two worlds was Augustine (and a riveting one-on-one Tolkien class I took that produced a paper on Augustine’s view of evil in The Lord of the Rings… but that’s a rabbit trial). One of my professors (the same of the Tolkien class) said to me once, “Read Augustine’s Confessions when you’re 30, and again when you’re 35, and when you’re 40. It’s a book that grows with you.” That left a deep impression upon me, and I’ve never forgotten it. I’m not 30 yet (a mere green sapling of 27) but I’ve been flirting with reading it this year anyways. Ergo, The month of love is the month of confessing.

March – Martin Luther (1483-1546)

1. Bondage of the Will (328 pages), or:
2. Here I Stand by Roland Bainton (441 pages)

I’m not sure which of these I’ll read for March, but I have Bondage of the Will already, so maybe I’ll stick with that. Dever highly praises Bainton’s biography of Luther, so we’ll see, but I’m sure my wife would prefer I follow the “read what you own” approach.

April – John Calvin (1509-1564)

1. The Institutes of the Christian Religion  (1059 pages) 

I read Calvin’s Institutes (McNeill edition) my senior year of college on my own. No class assignment, but I felt I owed it to the label “Calvinist” that if I were going to claim to be one, I might as well read the man’s main book. Through those months that I slowly read through the Institutes Calvin was helping me construct a massive Biblical framework for seeing the glory of God. Calvin built the architecture of my mind piece by piece, with both Biblical devotion and pastoral care. I still remember sitting at my desk wondering my brains were smattered on the ceiling because my mind was being blown by what he was showing me in the Bible. When I finished it, I resolved that I would read it every five years. It’s been that time, so I think I’m going to read it this year in a month, with a different translation.

May – Richard Sibbes (1577-1635)

1. Volume 6 or 7 of Works

After Calvin’s Institutes, my next favorite book is Richard Sibbes’ The Bruised Reed. The volumes and volumes of grace that I’ve received from this short little book are inexhaustible. I’ve felt comforted in trial, lifted in despondency, and encouraged towards love for Christ. Having read Sibbes before, I recently bought his Works. Dever has been tweeting quotes from Volumes 6 and 7 lately, so maybe that’s where I’ll go. I’ve got a little bit, but I want to set into one of the volumes. (Side note: Dever has done loads of readings from the works of Sibbes at his church in the past. You can find the audio for these times here.)

June – John Owen (1616-1683)

1. Works of Owen: Justification? Socinianism? Church?

What can I say about Owen? I named my first son after him. I’m not sure what I’ll read here – his works on Justification and Socinianism have relevance to controversies in the contemporary church that I feel Dr. Owen might have some helpful things to say. Or his works on the Church (dealing with controversies, etc.) might be helpful along the same lines. Not sure, we’ll decide when we get there.

July – Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758)

1. Revival (160 pages)

A shorter book than the others, but one I’ve intended to read for a while. Revival is that one thing that ever Christian longs to see in their day. I pray for it, and desire to be stirred to pray for it more by reading of past revivals.

August – C.H. Spurgeon (1834-1892)

1. Autobiography Volume 1 (562 pages)
2. Autobiography Volume 2 (524 pages)

Dever comments that Spurgeon’s biography is an incredibly fun read and deeply edifying for pastoral ministry. Seems like a good order to me! I’ve read Spurgeon’s Lectures to my Students, and a few other things by or about him, but a full autobiography by him should be fun! We’ve been to Elephant and Castle, so I’m looking forward to learning the man a little more. This would be one of the few volumes I’ll need to buy.

September – B.B. Warfield (1851-1921)

1. The Person and Work of Christ (589 pages) or
2. Select Shorter Writings

Dever had high praise for Warfield, and I think I’ve tended to not pay as much attention to him as he deserves. I’ve probably been put off by his cessationism. Anyhow, the man was a magnificent gift to the church, and I have his Shorter Writings, which again, my wife would probably prefer me read before buying new books. That said, I’ve continually heard great praise for his work on Christ, which I’d love to read at some point. We’ll see.

October – Martyn Lloyd-Jones (1899-1981)

1. Studies in the Sermon on the Mount (584 pages)

I’m currently reading, bit by bit, Lloyd-Jones’ Evangelistic Sermons before bed to grow in my understanding of preaching. I’ve read Lloyd-Jones before, and my wife’s a big fan. Our family claim to fame on this is that my wife’s Granddad had some sort of personal relationship with Lloyd-Jones. Most likely something in passing, but they knew each other – and I knew Granddad, which was cool in itself.  Having not read this book before, and knowing how important it is, I think this will be a good one for October.

November – C.S. Lewis (1898-1963)

1. Till We Have Faces (324 pages)

This is one of those Lewis books that I just don’t really have a reason for not having read before. I keep hearing people ogle about it, so I’ll read it for my 28th birthday. I have to say though, that I intend to read more Lewis this year anyways, so I might get into this before November. Need I confess?

December – Contemporary authors

To be honest, I can’t really settle on this category. Douglas Wilson has had a large impact on my lately – maybe I’ll read through his stuff in December. Maybe John Stott? I don’t know. Please forgive me for getting 11/12ths done, and being ok with it. Slothing off?…

Concluding Thoughts

This has been a helpful exercise for me to think through, and I hope by the grace of the Spirit, to stay with it. I intend to finish those books in the months allotted, and I think I will, but I believe in grace, so if I don’t finish – eh! Some of those authors are guys I’m regularly in (like Sibbes and Lewis), and I wish there were ways to get other guys in (like John Flavel or Hermen Bavinck), but alas, I guess I’ll just have to read them in the inbetweens. If you have any thoughts – or have written your own list – I’d be very interested to hear from you! Please feel free to comment, prod, pick, or pester about anything here.

Along these lines, Jackie Lopina has written up a stellar series on this subject: Loving Your Friend Through Infertility. I can’t recommend it enough! The series is thoughtful, filled with wisdom, practical, and aimed at the glory of Christ. Jackie writes 20 different “bite sized” posts that reflect careful thought on the issues people experience in walking through infertility. What I appreciate so much here is that she grounds the posts in Scripture, which means she’s always facing Jesus in helping us think through this. She doesn’t want us happy in the end, she wants us resting on Christ – whether that’s in helping a friend through infertility, or walking through it ourselves. Her keen insight on heart issues leads to careful and insightful questions to ask a friend (or your spouse!) struggling with infertility. She knows the pitfalls of the heart on this issue, and offers helpful wisdom on where to go with struggles and how to process difficulties. One aspect that stuck out to me where her posts on prayer (Part 1, 2, & 3) that emphasized great categories of why (because God loves to hear and answer) and what to pray (truth, comfort, joy, guidance and children). She also covers the “well intentioned but not so helpful” things friends will say (1 & 2) in a way that’s illuminating for people who aren’t struggling with infertility, and helpful for those who are in how to process the remarks. The short-sized nature of the posts make these super practical and helpful.

I commend the resource to you! The likelihood is that you either know someone who’s struggling with this, or you will, and Christ has something to speak to them. Jackie helps us see those connections, and for that service, I am deeply grateful.

PS – If you’re interested, I’ve written about our experiences with both infertility and miscarriage on this blog.

- Photo Credit: Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
(Psalm 23:1 ESV)

This joyous, dancing God who makes himself the guarantor of all his promises – He is your shepherd. The one who formed the plants and chiseled the mountains, who shaped the wrinkles on the newborn’s hands and breathes life into the nose of every man and woman. He who called all celestial wonders into being, whom nothingness obeys and forms the universe at the utterance of His command, who’s very words are the ground we walk on, the chairs we sit in, the air we breath, the water we drink. He sets his eye on you to care for you, to lead you, to guide and correct you. He tenderly shepherds you through the terrains of this life, mountains and deserts – you know the joys and sorrows he’s led you through. He is present and loving in all regions of life.

The Lord is the only one who is a life-giving shepherd, therefore you shall not want. All cravings after other idols and false gods will kill you and sap your life. They are false shepherds; false in all they offer.

But the Lord is an ever flowing fountain of life – the source of all life is the better Shepherd. You will not want for life with God. His life bounds and leaps, prowls and purrs, runs and strolls. When the Lord defines your wanting, you will always be satisfied, no matter where you are lead, sorrow or joy, because the source of meeting all of life’s cries and wanting’s is your shepherd.

Picture source.

Like a thousand bread crumbs,
Off a fresh loaf sawed in slices,
Whipped off the cutting board
With a swift swipe of the blade,
The snow outside is laid in plumbs,
Hurled down into awkward places,
By strength no man with stern face turned
Could withstand and not be splayed.

_________

It snowed this weekend here in West Chester, PA. Not a lot, but enough to be fun. Owen got to see snow last year, but he was mostly bundled up and still getting used to being alive. This year, he found the snow loads of fun. He did this little shuffle in the snow – I can only imagine it was his way of dancing with joy at the wonder of the Arctic visit. Psalm 147 has been on my mind a good bit lately, and so my thoughts kept returning to this particularly relevant verse in our winter wonderland:

He hurls down his crystals of ice like crumbs;
who can stand before his cold?
(Psalm 147:17 ESV)

Thus, the above poem was born with a little coffee, Psalter, and Robert Frost for inspiration.

Our Senior Prom, 2003. There are other pictures, but they're ol'timey - i.e. nondigital.

Today marks a rather momentous occasion for us in the Young house. A decade ago – that’s right, 3,652 days (which is a lot) – I asked Michelle to start dating me. Now, for those who may not know, Michelle also happens to now be my wife, so this is a good celebration and not some creepy old flame I’ve held on to.

The conversation famously went like this:

Me: So… I know I’m a loser, but would you go out with me?
Michelle:…. Yes… And you’re not a loser.

As you can see, my ploy was to set up the conversation (in my truck, on the way to my house to hang out with our friends no less!) in such a way that if she declined, she’d knowingly be crushing me. I might never have recovered and very well could be babbling to the trees in the Gulf Coast somewhere if she’d responded unfavorably. But, to the estonishment of us all, the evidence that God has mercy upon poor souls, and my absolute delight, she said yes.

And now it’s been ten years. I think it’s fairly obvious to say things have changed. We’re ten years older (shockingly). Being older and a whole decade along, the news reports would have you believe we’re disenchanted with each other, less in love, and cynically resolved to quietly suffer. None are true and all are pure, hell-fire lies. We’ve known the steady, long-suffering, deep ocean of God’s grace towards us again and again. Our Father, who art in heaven, has been pleased to dwell lovingly with us mere mortals on earth. We’re more in love, and understand a wee bit better what it means to be so. I feel the increasing sense of being so undeserving of the Lord’s kindness to us, especially in our relationship these ten years.

It is now my pleasure to present another Young tradition: a poem. You may groan as old Bilbo’s audiences did, but here it is nonetheless. To my wife, on our Decade Dating Dangerous Duo Celebration.

My Journey-Feets Friend

Do you remember the timid question?
I was right to be afraid; beginnings are always treacherous,
Not knowing where your feets will lead,
Lands they’ll explore, or downs adventured,
Heights of sorrow, and depths in love;
I was right to be afraid.
But minuscule bravery birthed by love carried the query
(In that tired out, faded red pickup):
Would your feets journey with mine?
O what a dangerous beauty this decade has been,
My heart’s love, my home, my journey-feets friend.