Growing in Christ
Sovereign Grace Ministries
A life towards pastoral calling: Final Post
11 month ago
This is the final post for this series, A Life Towards Pastoral Calling. The series was in three parts. You can read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 on the blog. However, I’v put the full document bellow, just click on the PDF icon. I don’t think there’s much else to say here but simply that however helpful this article/series has been, it’s been exponentially helpful for my soul to write it out. This paper is largely the culmination of thinking through these things over the last 10 years, and how even still with the desire of pastoral ministry in my heart this paper’s material still is precious to my soul and breaths life to my sails. If you find it helpful, may the Lord bless you.
Book recommendations
During this series I’ve included several book suggestions at the end of each post. These are the books that have shaped my own thinking on this over the years, and I highly recommend them to other young men thinking about pastoral calling. And if you don’t like books, you’re probably not called to be a pastor. (Yes, that’s a serious comment.)
A Life Towards Pastoral Ministry, Part 3
21 month ago
This is Part 3 in a series of three posts I’m doing consisting of a paper I was recently assigned to write on the prompt: “Write a letter giving counsel to young men on how to prepare for pastoral ministry and steward their sense of call.” I used Psalm 23 as a motif of how to think through a life aimed at pursuing a call to pastoral ministry. You can read Part 1 here, and Part 2 here. The full paper will be available for download as a PDF on Friday.
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And finally, verses 5 and 6:
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
The greatest enemy of mankind is death, and the greatest feast any man or woman can enjoy is to delight in the victory of Christ over sin and death[1]. It is in this victory over death that the soul learns unending joy. It is in the ministry of the Gospel that we enjoy his victory over death in the life of the Spirit.
Consider that all Christians are heading towards their true home, the heavenly house of God in the New Heavens and the New Earth, and that the Lord has instituted pastors as his workmen in helping his children sojourn home. The Spirit of God is building the house of God, made of living stones – people with lives and stories like you and me – to mirror the glory of Jesus Christ[2]. If you desire to be a workman of God, then you must study the only infallible tool of the Spirit[3], his Word[4]. It is the Lord’s Word that is more precious than gold and sweet as honey to the soul; perfect for reviving the soul; sure for making the simple wise; right for rejoicing the heart; pure for enlightening the eyes; clean and enduring forever; true and righteous altogether[5]. Learn to apply the Word to your own soul with Biblical, pastoral precision, finding encouragement when fainthearted, help in weakness, admonishment in idleness[6]. As you learn to do this with your own soul and those around you, the evidence of pastoral ministry will begin to show. As you learn the Word of God, a primary test for pastoral calling is how effectively you can communicate and teach the Scriptures[7]. A pastoral calling is not simply character, but public gifting to edify and strengthen the church. If we are a spiritual house (and we are) and the Spirit is the builder of the house (and he is) then the tool the Spirit uses is the Bible, perfect for all our needs.
Here we join our themes: As a man of the Word, you learn to guard yourself and will of the Shepherd as a humble lamb of Christ in service to the flock of God, which He obtained for life by his death, over whom the Spirit may make you an overseer[8]. A life towards pastoral ministry is one with this single eyed vision in mind: Serving the flock of God whom Christ procured at the cost of his own blood.
I will leave you with this: May the God of all peace tenderly carry you like a lamb, lead you in all your desires for ministry that you might have wisdom, and satisfy you with his unending river of joy through his Son Jesus Christ. To his name alone be glory and praise in the church, from his people and elders, forever and ever. Amen.
Yours in Christ,
Jacob Young
[1] On this mountain the LORD of hosts will make for all peoples
a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine,
of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined.
And he will swallow up on this mountain
the covering that is cast over all peoples,
the veil that is spread over all nations.
He will swallow up death forever;
and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces,
and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,
for the LORD has spoken. (Isaiah 25:6-8; conf. 1 Corinthians 15:54-55)
[2] As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 2:4-5)
[3] All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16)
[4] Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. (2 Timothy 2:15)
[5] Psalm 19:7-11
[6] And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. (1 Thessalonians 5:14)
[7] “an overseer must be…able to teach” (1 Timothy 3:2)
[8] Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood. (Acts 20:28)
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Recommended Recources:
A Life Towards Pastoral Ministry, Part 2
32 months ago
This is Part 2 in a series of three posts I’m doing consisting of a paper I was recently assigned to write on the prompt: “Write a letter giving counsel to young men on how to prepare for pastoral ministry and steward their sense of call.” I used Psalm 23 as a motif of how to think through a life aimed at pursuing a call to pastoral ministry. You can read Part 1 here, and Part 3 here. The full paper will be available for download as a PDF on Friday.
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Now let’s look at verse 4:
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
The Christian life is at its core a brutal thing. There is a mean streak in authentic Christianity[1] that looks sin square in the face, and wishes death upon it. But the source of that death is not the knife, or execution block, but the cross of Christ. It is the death of Christ that puts the sting of evil to death. I have found this reality to occur in two ways in my life:
First, In the sanctifying work of the Spirit. Though David is likely speaking about physical and spiritual peril in general, there is a legitimate application of this metaphor to the experience of sin in the soul, certainly a manifestation of death’s shadow. I have increasingly grown to know my own heart’s corruptions, and the inky shadow of sin therein most intensely around the question of calling. I used to think that fear of man was something that other people struggled with. How foolish! The more I think about the nature of pastoral ministry and think through the question of pastoral calling, increasingly I see how my heart uses it as a pretext to comparisons, presumptions, judgmental indictments, panderings for approval and acceptance. This is where my heart goes: I do not long for the Lord to bring about his perfect timing and plan for pastoral ministry, I must take charge, and when I take charge that which rules my heart rules my understanding. I long for the approval and respect due to a pastor. So I use words and deeds to manipulate people into giving me what my idols demand. In effect, I’ve stopped treating them like the Lord is their shepherd. Rather, my sinful heart proclaims: Jacob is their shepherd, and they shall serve me in perpetual want to see me satisfied! Thereby, in my sin I treat them not like people, but idolatry pawns. Oh the fiery sanctifying work of seeing this dark reality in my soul.
You will face this too. Your sin patterns may not be the same as mine, but you will see those deep-seated, dark areas that the Lord Jesus died to cleanse. So here remember this great reality: Fear not, for the power of sin is defeated in Christ, and even though he leads you to see the shadow of death in your heart, do not fear it, for the love of Christ conquers it by the power of the Spirit[2]. Slay those sinful roots by repenting at the foot of the cross of your Savior. Behold him and adore him. A mere repentance by staring sin in the face won’t do anything. Behold the face of your Savior dying for your sin, and meditate upon his glories. Think on his love for you to take you place under the wrath of the father. Think upon his generous, gregarious grace that welcomes you with constant mercy and love. In meditating upon him, the Spirit gives grace for more strength and obedience[3].
Second, In the sweet and bitter providence of suffering. It is not for nothing that Christians have throughout the ages attested to the lessons they learn in suffering that no book can fully teach. If you live long enough, you will suffer. And the Lord will still be good. It is in these moments that you will need the grace of Christ to turn to God and pray, Your rod and your staff comfort me – For you are with me. However, consider that not only is your life as a Christian a call to suffering, but so too is the call to pastoral ministry[4]. You are called to suffer[5], like our Savior, the pain of sin and death so that the life, grace, and love of Christ might be manifested in the lives of his people. Are you willing to be the man who marches into the valley of the shadow of death, in the power of the Holy Spirit, to minister to Christ’s people? Sin and suffering are messy. Ask yourself if you’re willing to be used by God in the mess. If you are, to prepare for the messiness of ministry, learn to listen and be with those in suffering. Do not be quick to tell people what to do with their suffering[6]. In your youth, listen. Pay attention to where God is working in their souls through those times, have eyes looking for Christ’s footprints, and seek to speak to them the comforts of a suffering king who walks with them through pain and sorrow[7]. As you see the grace of God in your life learn to lean on Jesus Christ. Lean heavily on the God of all comforts[8] so that you will know how to comfort others. If you learn these lessons, you will learn how to pastorally apply Paul’s simple command: Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep[9].
[1] Ed Welch, Additions: A Banquet in the Grave: “There is a mean streak to authentic self-control… Self-control is not for the timid. When we want to grow in it, not only do we nurture an exuberance for Jesus Christ, we also demand of ourselves a hatred for sin.. The only possible attitude toward out-of-control desire is a declaration of all-out war… There is something about war that sharpens the senses… You hear a twig snap or the rustling of leaves and you are in attack mode. Someone coughs and you are ready to pull the trigger. Even after days of little of no sleep, war keeps us vigilant.” (p. 225) – quoted in How to Kill Sin, Part 2 by John Piper, preached February 17, 2002.
[2] If by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. (Romans 8:13)
[3] And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:18)
[4] But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you. (2 Corinthians 4:7-12 ESV)
[5] Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 2:3)
[6] Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; (James 1:19)
[7] He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief. (Isaiah 53:3)
[8] Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
A Life Towards Pastoral Ministry, Part 1
62 months ago
When I was in high school, I had a sense that maybe the Lord was drawing me into pastoral ministry. That was 10 years ago, and the Lord has done a lot in my life since then. Along the way I’ve had major and minor theological shifts, and my understanding of what pastoral ministry is has matured. Even through all of these changes, I still think I think I might be called to pastoral ministry.
But that’s not really the most important thing here. In a man’s life there is the category of being a Christian, and the category of being a pastor (which not all men are called to), but the area in between is a bit nebulous. What does it look like to pursue pastoral ministry? A man is supposed to be humble, but how does he remain humble and pursue something so… forward and public? This is a category that seems under-served in my estimation in the available literature.
What follows is a paper I was recently assigned to write with the prompt: “Write a letter giving counsel to young men on how to prepare for pastoral ministry and steward their sense of call.” In thinking through the major lessons I’ve learned over the years in wrestling with the question “Am I called?” I settled on Psalm 23 as my motif. One of the pastors at our church, Jim Donohue, has had a massive impact on my life in caring for me and helping me think through this question. Years of investing and discipleship. I mention him because he’s not footnoted, but he’s on virtually every page. I putting this paper up with the hope that it serves other men thinking through the questions of pastoral ministry. Over the years I’ve found the question “Am I called?” to be a richer question than I’d expected, and not nearly demanding the sort of frantic answering and panicked solutions that so often plague my mind. If you’re called, you’re called – trust the Lord. If you’re not called to pastoral ministry, trust the Lord. This is his Church after all. Along these lines, books that have been helpful to me in thinking through this question are resourced bellow.
The original paper I wrote will be in three parts, with a final post available at the end of the week with the full paper downloadable by .pdf for those interested.
Without further ado:
The Lord is my Shepherd
A life towards pastoral calling
By Jacob Young
To my brothers,
I pray for you regularly and hope that you are doing well. As our time together changes into a new season, I wanted to take a few moments to share some thoughts with you about the pursuit of pastoral calling – something I know is a desire of both of your hearts. What I want to do here is simply walk you through the 23rd Psalm and apply it to a life thinking about pastoral ministry. I have, of course, not arrived, nor seen if in fact the Lord is calling me into pastoral ministry. But this I have known: The Lord is the ruler of my heart, and the Shepherd of my desires to serve him. The joys I have learned through my own process have been less about clarity of calling, and more about seeing and savoring Jesus Christ more passionately. I hope that some flavor of this is communicated through these meditations.
With that in mind, let’s begin with verses 1-3:
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.
David begins with this great governing reality over the Christian life: The Lord is my shepherd. This Lord is the one who promised his unfading, longsuffering, all sufficient grace and love to his people as their assurance of his promises. Is this not a staggering thought? The God of the universe stoops down and promises to shepherd, to protect, guide, and provide for a rag-tag group of people in the back-wood hills of the Middle East? He might as well have picked some unknown village in Montana! The foundation of claiming the Lord as shepherd is his own self-initiated grace[1]. The assurance we have that God will pull through with his grace to be my shepherd is that God built his promises upon himself – God is faithful to God, therefore he will be faithful to be my shepherd because he promises it.
This foundation of God’s faithfulness to God taps into a massive, powerful spring of life for the young man thinking about pastoral ministry. On the one hand, he sees that the call to pastoral ministry is a noble calling[2], that it shouldn’t be trifled with, and that those who are pastors are scrutinized more closely by God[3]. He might rightly tremble and whisper, “Who is sufficient for these things?[4]” But we must continually return to God’s promises being grounded in God as strength for the effectiveness of Christ’s ministry through us.
Over the years of the Lord’s leading in my life in thinking through the difficult questions of pastoral calling, I have known many dark moments and doubts. Am I wasting my time thinking about pastoral ministry? Will I ever have clarity about pastoral calling? Why would anybody want to follow me for their pastor? So-and-so is much more effective/useful/gifted/charismatic/etc. than I will ever be. These are all questions I’ve wrestled with, and the Lord himself has shepherded me through them to find the joy of simple faith in Jesus, to be satisfied with my Great Shepherd, to not occupy my mind with those plans of God for my life that are too hidden up in the mind of God for me to know[5]. It is in this reality of knowing that the Lord leads us and uses these desires for pastoral ministry, ambitions for the kingdom work of Christ, and mighty dreams to storm the fortresses of the World to guide us and quiet our souls in Christ. If anxiety rules your heart about the question of pastoral ministry, it is because you are not fully satisfied with your master – He leads you beside still waters. Questioning if you’re called or not should not rock your world, and if it does, it’s a good sign that there is an idol you’re serving (like Gollum’s precious). Jesus restores your soul – idols will always leave you wanting. The more you simply want Jesus and to make him look great, the simpler your desires are and the more content you are with wherever he places you to serve.
Knowing the Lord as your Shepherd means that you are a sheep. Sheep have no rights, they are absolutely governed by the will of their shepherd. Here I would underline this to help you think through realities of calling, office, and service. If there is a call to pastoral ministry on your life, you are called to an office that is fundamentally about serving; and service location and type is directed by Christ. Dream a dream of where to serve the Lord, but more fundamentally hold out the reality that you are called to serve wherever the need is, and that those needs are under the governance and providence of Christ. Lift up and work through your desires to serve Christ’s people; hold loosely your plans for how to do it. The Shepherd leads. Learn to be a good sheep and follow wherever he goes. Remember this, the Shepherd knows his sheep, and he knows the gifts he’s given you[6]. He won’t waste your gifting. Learn to be joyfully content with where the Lord is applying your gifting in faithful service. When you feel discontentment, you can be assured that you’re doing something wrong – rest your soul and dreams in Christ, and keep in step with the Spirit’s work in your life. In faithful service and use of gifting, you’re glorifying God to your maximum potential with your season of life exactly where he has you serving him in his church right now.
The path of thinking through pastoral ministry is fundamentally concerned with learning the man God has made you to be, the gifts God has given you, and how the Lord intends to lead you in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. The only reason to become a pastor is because the Great Pastor has instated you for that function in his flock[7]. Pastoral ministry will primarily be given to helping other people.
[1] It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the LORD set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the LORD loves you and is keeping the oath that he swore to your fathers, that the LORD has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt. (Deuteronomy 7:7-8)
[2] The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. (1 Timothy 3:1)
[3] Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. (James 3:1)
[4] 2 Corinthians 2:16
[5] O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me. (Psalm 131:1)
[6] “I am the good shepherd. I know my own” (John 10:14)
[7] Then I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them, and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply. I will set shepherds over them who will care for them, and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall any be missing, declares the LORD. (Jeremiah 23:3-4)
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Suggested Resources
My Canon of Theologians
23 months ago
A few years ago a friend and I were walking around a downtown area, and as we passed a used book shop, my friend suddenly stops, and proclaims “You have to have one of those!” What he’d seen was a display in the window with a t-shirt that had in big letters printed on it: “I Read Dead People.” That’s basically my reading habits, and my friends know it – I think it speaks primarily to their long-suffering and patience to continue to hang-out with me.
Along these lines, in an old post by Tony Reinke about the Sovereign Grace Ministries’ 2007 Leadership Conference, he caught my attention with an outline of Mark Dever’s seminar at that conference, Watch the Past: Living Lessons from Dead Theologians. (Note: Tony’s link is out of date. Follow this link for the message which is now free.) Refer to Tony’s post for the outline, but the basic premise is this: “He encouraged us to read on theological issues that are not a particular struggle at the time. Let the theologians talk about what they want to talk about.” Much like a Bible reading plan, this sort of system puts you in regular conversation with faithful men in the past to listen carefully to them without needing to rush. I’ve been thinking about what I want to read this year – being in February, I’m a bit behind – and so I thought this would help bring some gool’ol dead guy fun to the year, and hopefully for years to come.
The ‘canon of theologians’
January – Early church writings (1st-3rd centuries)
- Early Christian Writings: The Apostolic Fathers (Penguin) or
- The Apostolic Fathers in English ed. By Michael Holmes
I’ve missed January, so I’m not too concerned about catching up. I’ll swing around to this next year, or for bed-time reading in the future!
February – Augustine (354-430)
- The Confessions (Henry Chadwick edition, 352 pages).
When I was in college I majored in both English and Philosophy, with my English degree primarily focusing on Medieval Literature. My happy marriage between these two worlds was Augustine (and a riveting one-on-one Tolkien class I took that produced a paper on Augustine’s view of evil in The Lord of the Rings… but that’s a rabbit trial). One of my professors (the same of the Tolkien class) said to me once, “Read Augustine’s Confessions when you’re 30, and again when you’re 35, and when you’re 40. It’s a book that grows with you.” That left a deep impression upon me, and I’ve never forgotten it. I’m not 30 yet (a mere green sapling of 27) but I’ve been flirting with reading it this year anyways. Ergo, The month of love is the month of confessing.
March – Martin Luther (1483-1546)
- Bondage of the Will (328 pages), or:
- Here I Stand by Roland Bainton (441 pages)
I’m not sure which of these I’ll read for March, but I have Bondage of the Will already, so maybe I’ll stick with that. Dever highly praises Bainton’s biography of Luther, so we’ll see, but I’m sure my wife would prefer I follow the “read what you own” approach.
April – John Calvin (1509-1564)
- The Institutes of the Christian Religion (1059 pages)
I read Calvin’s Institutes (McNeill edition) my senior year of college on my own. No class assignment, but I felt I owed it to the label “Calvinist” that if I were going to claim to be one, I might as well read the man’s main book. Through those months that I slowly read through the Institutes Calvin was helping me construct a massive Biblical framework for seeing the glory of God. Calvin built the architecture of my mind piece by piece, with both Biblical devotion and pastoral care. I still remember sitting at my desk wondering my brains were smattered on the ceiling because my mind was being blown by what he was showing me in the Bible. When I finished it, I resolved that I would read it every five years. It’s been that time, so I think I’m going to read it this year in a month, with a different translation.
May – Richard Sibbes (1577-1635)
After Calvin’s Institutes, my next favorite book is Richard Sibbes’ The Bruised Reed. The volumes and volumes of grace that I’ve received from this short little book are inexhaustible. I’ve felt comforted in trial, lifted in despondency, and encouraged towards love for Christ. Having read Sibbes before, I recently bought his Works. Dever has been tweeting quotes from Volumes 6 and 7 lately, so maybe that’s where I’ll go. I’ve got a little bit, but I want to set into one of the volumes. (Side note: Dever has done loads of readings from the works of Sibbes at his church in the past. You can find the audio for these times here.)
June – John Owen (1616-1683)
- Works of Owen: Justification? Socinianism? Church?
What can I say about Owen? I named my first son after him. I’m not sure what I’ll read here – his works on Justification and Socinianism have relevance to controversies in the contemporary church that I feel Dr. Owen might have some helpful things to say. Or his works on the Church (dealing with controversies, etc.) might be helpful along the same lines. Not sure, we’ll decide when we get there.
July – Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758)
- Revival (160 pages)
A shorter book than the others, but one I’ve intended to read for a while. Revival is that one thing that ever Christian longs to see in their day. I pray for it, and desire to be stirred to pray for it more by reading of past revivals.
August – C.H. Spurgeon (1834-1892)
- Autobiography Volume 1 (562 pages)
- Autobiography Volume 2 (524 pages)
Dever comments that Spurgeon’s biography is an incredibly fun read and deeply edifying for pastoral ministry. Seems like a good order to me! I’ve read Spurgeon’s Lectures to my Students, and a few other things by or about him, but a full autobiography by him should be fun! We’ve been to Elephant and Castle, so I’m looking forward to learning the man a little more. This would be one of the few volumes I’ll need to buy.
September – B.B. Warfield (1851-1921)
- The Person and Work of Christ (589 pages) or
- Select Shorter Writings
Dever had high praise for Warfield, and I think I’ve tended to not pay as much attention to him as he deserves. I’ve probably been put off by his cessationism. Anyhow, the man was a magnificent gift to the church, and I have his Shorter Writings, which again, my wife would probably prefer me read before buying new books. That said, I’ve continually heard great praise for his work on Christ, which I’d love to read at some point. We’ll see.
October – Martyn Lloyd-Jones (1899-1981)
- Studies in the Sermon on the Mount (584 pages)
I’m currently reading, bit by bit, Lloyd-Jones’ Evangelistic Sermons before bed to grow in my understanding of preaching. I’ve read Lloyd-Jones before, and my wife’s a big fan. Our family claim to fame on this is that my wife’s Granddad had some sort of personal relationship with Lloyd-Jones. Most likely something in passing, but they knew each other – and I knew Granddad, which was cool in itself. Having not read this book before, and knowing how important it is, I think this will be a good one for October.
November – C.S. Lewis (1898-1963)
- Till We Have Faces (324 pages)
This is one of those Lewis books that I just don’t really have a reason for not having read before. I keep hearing people ogle about it, so I’ll read it for my 28th birthday. I have to say though, that I intend to read more Lewis this year anyways, so I might get into this before November. Need I confess?
December – Contemporary authors
To be honest, I can’t really settle on this category. Douglas Wilson has had a large impact on my lately – maybe I’ll read through his stuff in December. Maybe John Stott? I don’t know. Please forgive me for getting 11/12ths done, and being ok with it. Slothing off?…
Concluding Thoughts
This has been a helpful exercise for me to think through, and I hope by the grace of the Spirit, to stay with it. I intend to finish those books in the months allotted, and I think I will, but I believe in grace, so if I don’t finish – eh! Some of those authors are guys I’m regularly in (like Sibbes and Lewis), and I wish there were ways to get other guys in (like John Flavel or Hermen Bavinck), but alas, I guess I’ll just have to read them in the inbetweens. If you have any thoughts – or have written your own list – I’d be very interested to hear from you! Please feel free to comment, prod, pick, or pester about anything here.
So I’m going to seminary – Approach
03 years ago
I alluded to this subject at the end of my last post, but it might be helpful to open it up a little be more here. Over the course of the last few years I’ve been able to give some unhurried thought to Christian education. In particular, given my own past idolizing of seminary, thoughts about how Christians should be educated have been on the side burner for me (the little burner to the left – not main, but always there). The main issue is simply this: The New Testament (NT) has no explicit teaching that one should establish separate institutions for Christian education apart from the local church body. Now I understand that this statement could sound reactionary or anti-intellectual, but to read it that way would be a misunderstanding.
The model I see portrayed in the NT is one of the presiding pastors of a local body teaching and equipping the people they serve with the clear teaching of Scripture, and the tools to understand their Bibles accurately. I largely gather this from the form of the NT: Letters of instruction, interpretation, and application to the local body of believers. We see this even in the personal letters written in that the church judged them full of teaching not limited for that person but important for the church at large. Given the clear fact that all the major works of the NT were written for the purpose of communal edification and teaching, it seems like a simple deduction that Christian education and instruction is intended to be done within the “walls” of the local church. (One can’t help but note Revelation 1:3 at this point – “Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written in it, for the time is near.”)
Why does it need to be this way? Mainly, I would argue, because the word of God is for the people of God, to be lived out by them for the glorification of God (thanks be to God! – my liturgical upbringing there). God sends his word to a people to be learned and lived by them; he even incarnates and stoops from his glory to make this a reality. The Gospel and the Word of God are not given to be studied apart from personal and communal application. That is why, I think, Paul gives his major doctrinal works that hinge word “therefore” (i.e. Romans 12:1, Ephesians 4:1) – deep doctrine must effect us deeply for it to evidenced as truth. Thus, in the muck and grim of the local church, deep doctrines of the sovereignty of God are made to be wrestled with in light of all the severe suffering and pain that “everyday people” bring into our lives. The stirring pot of the local church makes us wrestle with deep doctrine in a way that has immediate live application.
Therefore, for me, as I’m approaching seminary, I’m trying with all my might to orient my life and the education I receive to be applicable to the community I am in. That is why, for the time being, I’m just doing part-time work. To do my school work to the extent that I am prevented from actively engaging the local church would be dishonoring to Jesus. Now what this doesn’t mean is that I wouldn’t ever do full-time work. To say that would be impractical and reactionary. There is a place, I think, for devoting one’s self to full time study for the sake of serving and blessing the church. To stay in the NT, one can’t help but ponder how Paul’s life and ministry would have been drastically different if he hadn’t been a brilliant scholar taught by Gamaliel (Acts 22:3). God does give the call to some men to be set apart for study that the church – yes, in particular the local church – might be directly edified by their studies.
The seminary model is up for questioning in my mind. One of the problems I’ve seen – which isn’t unique to me – is that the model of seminary with tons of education separated from the labor of the local church is serious cause for spiritual pride. Anything can produce spiritual pride (yes, even tons of local church service separated from active, personal study). It is also a slight concern that the geographical local of most seminaries is apart from the geographic gathering point of any local church. I don’t think the Bible mandates buildings for Christians, but it is a general reality that most local churches eventually acquire a property and building for their congregational functions. As such, it does concern me about what is unintentionally, but implicitly being communicated when the education of the church isn’t happening within the walls of the local church. (As a note, this is one of the things that I greatly appreciate about the vision of Sovereign Grace Ministries’ Pastors College.)
Being involved in my local church is a major source for encouragement and perspective for me going into seminary. It is in the local church that I find the godliest men I know; men I desperately want to be like, and men who will honestly never darken the steps of a seminary (at no slam on them). That’s a major fencing to any spiritual pride that I’d be tempted to acquire through this privilege to attend seminary – education does not mean one is more godly, or more right! The call to deeper education is a personal call, not a gift of godliness. However, the call that God gives is the means by which he intends to sanctify and purify us. For me, it will be through education (or so it seems); for another, it will be through carpentry, or for another, it will be through motherhood. Each call that God gives us is intended to be that sanding paper on our souls to polish us into the form of Christ. But it is in the context of the local church that this is intended to happen – because each is called to serve the other.
So one of the things that’s on my mind going in is: How can my studies serve my local church?
The first thought I have is that it can give me direction for prayer. As the Scriptures become clearer, they shine light on where and how our culture deviates from its teaching. This gives me direction for knowing what to pray about for our church.
Secondly, I can involve my friends in what I’m studying by talking about it with them. They may not have any thoughts on technical issues (or they might!), but they will ask questions and express thoughts that will help me clarify or think in directions on the issues that I wouldn’t normally.
The third thing is to be in discussions with my pastors on the content. They are extraordinarily wise men, and getting their pastoral thoughts on different issues will help me process how to think about things. I can also serve them by handing them bite sized pieces of what I’m learning. Pastor’s don’t have the time to read everything, so handing off summaries will help me think clearer and will help them stay abreast on issues they might not normally engage with.
The local church is God’s missionary outreach, and I’m jealous to see the Gospel advance through her. So as I’m approaching seminary, my thoughts are riveted around how to serve the great commission. While I might be called in this season to devote serious time to study, it must not sever my active involvement in my church body. I pray these thoughts that I’ve expressed capture God’s heart for how academic study should serve his church.
So, I’m going to seminary…
03 years ago
So, I’m going to seminary. Indeed, danger is afoot, but thankfully, in whatever I bring to the task, Jesus has promised that the gates of Hell shall never conquer his kingdom. I therefore anticipate a great crusade of grace upon this man’s heart. The honor of going to seminary has been a long desire of mine, and one that I have given much thought to over the last six years. What I’d like to do here on the blog is work out a few of those things, hopefully to the benefit of those who read. At the moment I have a total of four posts in mind (including this one) though that may get stretched if I realize certain things are not fit for particular headings. Anyhow, so on to the first:
How I got here.
This process, while not very long (five years is a dust of time to God), there have been many unexpected turns, which I hope to keep to a minimum here. I grew up in the United Methodist Church, and at the end of high school, going into college, had the sense of call and the coupled ambition to go to seminary after undergraduate studies to be ordained as pastor. This, for me, meant an immediate insertion into the ordination process to discuss and discern a pastoral calling. In addition, I was already looking at seminaries – yes, even requesting information – as a freshman, anticipating the next step in the journey, even as my present foot was just hitting the dust of the current place.
Over the next few years, several events happened almost all at once that turned my direction. The first was a family crisis that turned my head from the Open Theistic view of God that I had to the Reformed teachings. This was mainly through John Piper’s teaching and ministry. This turned my theological perspective from the Weslyan, Arminian tradition and view, to the Reformed, Calvinist tradition, with the spice of spiritual gifts, just to make things fun. Through Piper and another friend, I was introduced to C.J. Mahaney and Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM) – guys who were like me, mainly Reformed Baptists who prayed in tongues and prophesied all over the place.
During this time, my thoughts about the nature of the church began to shift. I had previously been giving most of my time and energy to the local Wesley Foundation (the UMC’s college ministry), meanwhile not really investing much into the local church. The college ministry basically consisted of young adults from various backgrounds, all in the 18-23 age range. But what I was seeing in the NT for fellowship and the context for normal Christian life was the local church, filled with people at various stages and seasons of life, where the Scriptures were regularly preached, and where appointed elders lead the people. I didn’t see a call to segregate a particular age group away from that local church to minister to itself, but rather each member contributing to, and being disciple by, the members within the local church body. So, with this stirring in my heart, I started to pull away from the college ministries I was involved in and joined a local Reformed Baptist Church (that I dearly love to this day!) that had this same vision, of a true “life together” under the Word of God in loving fellowship.
Coupled with this was a revisioning of pastoral ministry. The bread and butter of what I had been raised in was to set a course on what God was calling you to, and make a b-line towards that. For me, and I would wager a large number of my pears, this meant that one announced their pastoral calling and moved towards that. Now of course there were things set in place to avoid ordaining non-called people, but there was not much of an emphasis on a communal sense of calling for pastoral ministry, it was more about one’s personal desire, regardless of the heart’s motivation. What I began to see in the NT was men being given a personal sense of call to pastoral ministry that was evaluated and discerned in the context of the local church where people could probe those desires. The pastors of the church were lifted up by the church (both congregation and leadership). This perspective was informed largely by meditation on Scripture, but was also helped and clarified by a little booklet put out by SGM entitled, Am I Called? I should note here that in retrospect, I should have involved the community that I was a part of within the college ministry more than I did – a lack of application of what I was learning here, and a good mixture of pride.
The things that fell into place for me, the mental furnature if you will, were that I was engaged to be married, and nearing graduation. What was to come began to be dictated by the desires we had. We started looking into SGM, and decided that we should pare up cities with both great theological institutions and Sovereign Grace churches. To make this short, this eventually lead to me visiting Covenant Fellowship Church, just outside Philadelphia which housed Westminster Theological Seminary. From this visit, and a subsequent visit to a SGM church in North Carolina for Michelle to get the flavor of what they were about, we felt that God was leading us to move to the Philly area to join Covenant Fellowship. What also happened during this time was a sense that I should put off seminary work for the time being, and set my focus on getting married (and learning to be a husband), moving us to Philly, and becoming active members at our new local church.
So, skip into the summer of 2007, we were now married, moved, and members of Covenant Fellowship. But there I was, still wrestling with thoughts and desires for seminary work. So a pastor and I got together for lunch where I got telling him about my thoughts. His guidance was to continue as we were in the church – active and growing – and to join in on the discipleship groups they were doing called GROW. The purpose of those groups was to help people in their basic Christian discipleship to Jesus Christ, and to give a closer context for pastors to see if members were called to leadership within the church (any type of leadership, not just pastoral). This then ended and moved into INVEST, which was more intentionally focused on leadership development for members who the pastors wanted to train more “hands on”.
All of this transpired over a 2ish year period. What occurred in my heart over that time was profound grace from a gracious God to a deeply entrenched, demanding sinner. Through the process I realized that I had simply made an idol of seminary. That was the place that competent people like me deserved to go – we deserved schooling so that we can help all of yous! Why wasn’t God giving me what I wanted! I just simply wanted to give him glory! What a fool I was! Some friends of mine also began to comment that it seemed like I viewed my present season as a waste of time. This all was a part of God exposing my discontentment in his plans for me. I wanted the things of God when I wanted them regardless of what was inconsistent with those things in my own life. How can a man be a tool of God when he’s not been effected by God? I began to see how I wasn’t serving my wife, nor giving serious attention to her spiritual growth. I was mainly jealous for ministry for vain glory. I was constantly anxious about what the pastors were thinking about out ministry future – even judging them, supposing that they didn’t see a pastoral calling. This was the spin of my deceitful heart – completely neglecting the Gospel in engaging my view of life and others. All of this simply from a differed desire for seminary!
So, over the last two years I have been in “the school of grace.” I’ve seen how first and foremost, my time with God, my heart and mind before him in confession and worship, are of primary important. From there, my delightfully role of being Michelle’s husband is my primary. If I fail at being a husband, I fail everything. I have grown in my desire be a godly husband, and by the grace of the Gospel, I have seen growth. Further, I’ve grown in my contentment to not be celebrated or seen, but to simply serve in obscurity in my church – either taking meals to others, growing in deeper relationships with my friends, or simply setting up chairs at church. My friends who have been the key means of grace in this area are Jace and Jenny Hudson, and Brandon and Anya Page. These are four people that I think the world of, and consider them my closest friends. They are each examples of Christians living godly lives in obscurity, all the while being massive examples of the victory of the cross of Jesus Christ before my eyes.
So, now to the “I’m going to seminary part”. Over the last year, Jim Donohue (the pastor I’ve been in an INVEST group with) and I have been talking about pastoral yearnings in my heart. In addition, Jim’s had the time to see gifting and leadership in my life that has given him fuel for thought in where God might be calling me. But along the way, Jim and I have gotten to know each other, and Michelle and I have received loads of grace through Jim having observations on our life and marriage that have helped us see sin and grow in grace. Through this time, almost every spring, I hit the desire, “Should I apply for seminary?” Jim and I got together a couple months ago to talk about how to deploy us in the church, during which we talked about desires I had and his observations on gifting. It actually was very helpful because we both started talking about if I should do seminary work. This conversation lead to us seeing that it would seem that God is leading me to do seminary work given the gifts he’s given me, and the way folks within the church have benefited from those gifts. What I find profoundly deep about this decision is that it came out of a communal recognition, stirred by my own desires, and lead wisely by pastors.
Subsequently to that conversation, I applied to Westminster Theological Seminary here in Philadelphia, and was accepted for their Master of Arts in Religion degree with a focus on Theological Studies. So, after a long trail turned around, the issue wasn’t so much of getting into seminary, but God getting his perspective on it into my heart. Honestly, at this point, I could take or leave seminary work. I’m excited about it, and look forward to the task, but it’s no longer an idol for me. At this point, I’ll be taking one class this fall (Prolegoma to Theology), but if through that we feel that this isn’t what God’s leading me to, I’ll step out. A theological degree is intended to serve the treasuring of Jesus Christ in my own soul, and to help me be used to stir the same treasuring in other people. It is not intended to make me more important, but rather, cause me to decrease that Christ may increase. Going into the great honor of seminary, I honestly desire what I didn’t before – the glory of my precious Savior, Jesus Christ, to be seen and known in my life, in the life of his people, and to those still in rebellion to him.
