Growing in Christ
Love
The way of love
01 year ago
A while back, somebody recommended Jonathan Edwards’ Charity and Its Fruits as a helpful tool in putting self-righteousness to death. Being a little… um, slow to come around?… I’ve only just now started to read it. Kind of like that house project that you’ll look at every day, and think, “Yea… I need to do something about that. I know exactly what I’ll do!…. Oh darn, look, there’s a butterfly and the ice cream truck and Oreos!…” And there it went, your golden moment to do a 10 minute chore. But at least it was for Oreos.
So I’ve finally been reading Charity and Its Fruits, and have been deeply struck by Jonathan Edwards’ thoughts on the nature of love as I’ve been working through this issue of self-righteousness in my heart. He pulls from 1 Corinthians 13 and says that Love is not driven by the benefits one receives from another, but is driven by the beauty seen in another. Therefore we love God because he is beautiful and holy – not just because we received the benefit of salvation. Our love for God is captivated with the person of God in Jesus Christ – 2 Corinthians 4:6, not merely with the benefits of God’s goodness to us in Jesus Christ.
Here’s a practical example. I’ve seen lately how my love for my wife is often driven by my love of the great things that come from being married to her. (For a sample listing, just visit her blog here, and you’ll see that she’s awesome – seriously.) The question for me to consider in my relationship with Michelle is this: Do I simply love Michelle for all the great gifts and talents that Michelle has that make me happy, or do I love Michelle for the great and beautiful woman that she is on her own merit, irrespective of my benefit from her?
This distinction speaks to the reality of what D.A. Carson says is “self-originating love” (Showing the Spirit, 65). The problem with leaving what I’ve said above as the final statement on how I should approach loving my wife is that it doesn’t really capture the full character of love. Because, let’s be honest – we’re all really not that lovely all the time. You know it, and your mirror (and conscience) tell you every morning.
Carson gives us some helpful words on this point:
Of course, unlike God’s love, our [self-originating love] is not absolutely self-originating; but it is self-originating in the sense that God’s grace so transforms the believer that his or her responses of love emerge out of the matrix of Christian character, and are correspondingly less dependent on the loveliness of the object. (Showing the Spirit, 65)
So, what I should be saying is this: I love my wife because God’s grace has so transformed me to love, that my orientation to her – lovely or not – is love. Love then, is not merely a posture, but one’s character.
That’s interesting, I guess I’ve never really thought of that before (though I’ve certainly read it or heard it before).
I wonder how it would change my marriage to Michelle for me to pray to not merely respond to the beauty of who she is with love, but to be defined by a character of love. Maybe I’d be less snippy with her when I’ve neglected to taken out the trash and impute that global offense on to her neglected responsibilities… Maybe I’ll be more genuinely interested in her trials or adventures over dinner at the end of the day, and less interested in every fleeting thought about the horrible state of drivers in Pennsylvania… Maybe I’d be more interested in snuggling with her than trying to think of the next thing to do on the schedule…
Needless to say, should anybody ever wonder why I’m reading a book on the nature of love, they should really ask if they know me. I’m not a loving guy by nature. But then again, by nature I was in love with an inheritence of sin and wrath… But by God’s grace, I’m not in love with that anymore, but am in the Kingdom of Light.
Holy Spirit, light the way of love.
Love God, Trust God
21 year ago
I’ve been 
reading through Jonathan Edwards’ Charity and Its Fruits lately and really finding it helpful. If you’re like me, and find self-righteousness a constant companion, and lack-of-love for others a natural temper, you will be deeply served by this book. Here is a little quote that has recently served me out of a whole section that’s been deeply edifying:
He who does not love God will not trust him. He never will with true acquiescence* of soul cast himself into the hands of God, or the arms of his mercy. (Yale, VIII:138)
* A synonym for acquiescence is submissiveness.
You can purchase the book here: Charity and Its Fruits
Or you can read the book online for free from here: The Jonathan Edwards Center at Yale University
Review: Think by John Piper
31 year ago
As I’m sitting down to write this review, my friend has been snagged into a conversation with the local Existentialist about the meaning of life (we were supposed to be having coffee). It’s the sort of conversation where you go from “Hello” to “Now follow this syllogism” in about thirty minutes. He’s a well meaning guy, though he’s one of those guys who’s zero’d in on one or two philosophers because they scratched an itch that he had, while not really being tested to see if his own thinking is sound. But the irony strikes me as tangible: Here I am, writing a review about a book on thinking for the glory of God, and my friend (just 10 feet away!) is being challenged to understand an oddity in our day – a man who’s passionately confused yet devoted to trying to think.
This is, of course, a poignant example of 
why John Piper’s recent book, Think, is so desperately needed today. I’m afraid that many Christians do not know how to think like Jesus. We are called to “just follow Jesus”, “be like Jesus”, and ask “What would Jesus do?”, but hardly does anybody give thought to thinking like Jesus. John Piper fills the gap.
The basic message of the book is this: Piper contends that loving God with our minds means that “our thinking is wholly engaged to do all it can to awaken and express the heartfelt fulness of treasuring God above all things” (19). Piper’s means of making this point is by expositing Scripture. His main texts, as I read the book are Luke 10:21 (God has hidden these things from the wise and understanding), 1 Corinthians 1:20 (God has made foolish the wisdom of the world), 2 Corinthians 4:4-6 (God has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ) and Matthew 22:35-40 (You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind).
This may be easily passed by (who actually looks up all the Scripture references in books?), but to me it is one of the enduring qualities of this book. What is so refreshing about this means of building his book is that when we close the book, we’re built up in Scripture, understanding it better, and left leaning on God and his Book, not Piper and Think. This, my friends, is a sign of a faithful ministry.
This book will, I think, strike a cord with many people on many different levels. Piper works through the place of the mind and thinking in the Christian life, and then contrasts biblical thinking to intellectualism, anti-intellectualism, and relativism. Following the teaching of Jesus, he appeals to the Christian to be firmly fixed in the Bible, thinking good hard thoughts for the sake of stoking one’s affections with the glory of God and loving their fellow man.
Personally, this book was well timed and deeply helpful. It gives me hope to see that logic “is a furnace driving the engine of love” (54), not merely a cold, sterile tool for entertainment between the ears. That is, the mind isn’t merely the information hard-drive of the body that just stores information until you want to pull it up. No, thinking is about loving. However, for ”thinking to be loving, it must be more than thinking” (84). That is, the mind was made for working and serving something other than itself. ”[W]hile it is true that the mind and heart are mutually enlivening, it is also clear that the mind is mainly the servant of the heart. That is, the mind serves to know the truth that fuels the fires fo the heart” (36).
You mean to tell me that I don’t leave my brain at the door when I come to treasure Christ, but actually take it up as my chief tool in knowing and enjoying the glory of God? This. is. staggering. It is not my mind that needs to be repented of, but my shallow, selfish, and sinful thoughts that haven’t served my heart rightly as God intended.
There are great things in store for those who read this book. I think this may be one of Piper’s easiest primary books to read. Throughout the book he’s constantly explaining Scripture and helping us to see where his own thinking is going. Piper’s pastoral wisdom and care make this book not only accessible in content, but enlivening in application. I left the book wanting my thinking to be “wholly engaged to do all it can to awaken and express the heartfelt fulness of treasuring God above all things,” and I think you will too.
Title: Think
Author: John Piper
Boards: hardcover
Pages: 210
Volumes: 1
Dust jackets: yes
Binding: sewn
Topical index: yes (subjects and names)
Scriptural index: yes
Publisher: Crossway
Year: 2010
Price USD: $19.99 / $10.39 at WTS Books
ISBN: 978-1-4335-2071-6
I did receive this book free from Crossway Books for review, but the thoughts are unsolicited and completely my own.
Love is different than you think
02 years ago
For me, I find it’s the little moments that reveal major issues. There’s the moment the other day where I’m talking with Michelle about buying a particular thing, which she’s fine with, all the while I’m building and executing a defense case for why we should if she ever decided to disagree with me. Or the other night where I took deep offense to Michelle simply helping me out – as though she were implying I’m stupid and forgetful and an oaf of a man.
I see more clearly these days how self-righteous I am (hence the defensiveness) and how much I imply into what other people do. I don’t love people. While I don’t love people, I do know God has something to say about that. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we have the infamous “Love is” statements from Paul that have for ages and ages, unfortunately been gutted of all context and read at thousands of weddings every weekend.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Meditating on my own failings in this is helpful enough, but then I though of my good friend D.A. Carson and asked him what he thought of this passage. Here’s what he helped me see:
If I must say a few words what is distinctive about God’s love for us, it is that it is self-originating. When a young man reveals his heart with a passionate declaration, I love you!” at least in part he means that he finds the woman he loves lovely. At least some of his love is elicited by the object of that love. But God loves what is unlovely. If, as John 3:16 tells us, God loves the world, it is not because the world is so lovely God cannot help himself: judging by John’s use of the term world, God loves the world only because of what he is. And derivatively, that is how Christians learn to love: they learn to love with love that is, like God’s self-originating. Of course, unlike God’s love, our is not absolutely self-originating; but it is self-originating in the sense that God’s grace so transforms the believer that his or her responses of love emerge out of the matrix of Christian character, and are correspondingly less dependent on the loveliness of the object. Showing the Spirit, 65
The root and spring of love is not in the actions of it, or even the character of particular actions or words, it’s in character of the soul. Am I loving as a person. DC Talk was wrong, love is not a verb, it’s an attribute. Love is a quality of who we are. Like water is wet, so is a person who is loving – they are love.
What kind of love? The love that loves simply to love and be kind. The kind God has for us – springing from genuine interest and kindness. God loves the unlovely (you and me) because God is love. One exercise to do here is to go through 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and write out “(your name) is patient, (your name) is kind,etc.”. You’ll feel the conviction. But that’s the point of growing in love because Jesus is patient and kind, and he wants us to look like him.
So how do I grow in love? Certainly there are practical things I just need to do, but the change I need is something I can’t do. Thankfully, the Bible helps us out again here. Paul tells us that “the fruit of the Spirit is love” (Galatians 5:22). Relying on the Spirit in prayer, repenting of our hardheartedness is the means of cultivating the Spirit’s activity in our lives. It’s when the Spirit is active in the humble soul that the fruits of that activity begin to shoot up. Suddenly, for no apparent or immediate reason, you just start loving people just to love them, despite who they are or what they’ve done. This is a God-thing here, not a pragmatic thing. Love, you see, is different than you think.
Why I Must Die
12 years ago
I’m a jerk, and that’s a plain fact. As my wife says I’m “Mr. Meany-pants”. It’s true. Not only am I internally mean, I’m externally mean. When God made me, he had some extra clay around and accentuated some features to drive the point home. As a friend observed once, “Even when you’re caring for me and intentionally listening, you still look angry.” It’s due to the abnormally large chin and brow that I have. But what can I say, some good facial features for telling ghost stories is a real bonus some times… except for all those times when I really want to love people.
Ambivalence to love other people in my own heart is something the Holy Spirit has been taking some dynamite to lately. When I see my sin clearly, I feel cornered and hopeless. I feel like the Israelites looking at the Red Sea behind them and Pharaoh in front of them: “I’m toast”. But just as God was faithful and opened up a way to life through the Red Sea, he has opened up a way to life through the blood of Jesus Christ. As Pharaoh died in the Red Sea, Satan, Sin and Death died in their power over me in the death of Jesus Christ for me.
So the Holy Spirit has drawn my attention to Philippians 2:
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.(Phil. 2:1-8)
Meaning: Because you are united with Jesus Christ, your unloving heart and the wrath from God that it deserves is dealt with on the Cross, and all that you need to love and the example of how to live it is already yours in Him. Problem, sin; solution, Jesus. I don’t love people like I should, but Jesus did; he even loved me. I can’t effect the change I need. I can’t muster up a cake from the mud of my heart. But what I do have is Jesus, and Jesus has love. Even more, because Jesus has the love I need, and Jesus is mine, I can have his love too. But at a cost: I must die. Jesus must take over who I am – my presumptions, my conceits, my anger, my suspicions – and kill them in his cross for me to have his life living in me. This is the “encouragement in Christ, comfort from love, participation in the Spirit, affection and sympathy” of the Gospel. Yea, I die; but I gain Christ.
What about you? If you were honest, how often are you ambivalent to love people? The “mind of Christ” is to intentionally have “the affection of Christ” for others. Do you? Are compassion, affection, sympathy and love attributes that would describe you? Being nice doesn’t count. Jesus loved not merely irritating neighbors, but he loved jihadist rebels with a mission to kill him. The love was on his end, not warranted by the actions of others. What about your love?
If you feel cornered, don’t panic, just read the post again.
The Wonder of His Love
12 years ago
God has been near to me lately, sensibly near. His love and intentions to have me as his own have continued to come to the fore in my thinking and affections. I recently got the newest David Crowder* Band album Church Music, in which, one of the many things they work through is meditating on the pursuing love of God. Through this my thoughts have been drawn to think on verses like Ephesians 2:4 “God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us.” It’s struck me afresh lately, through the ministry of the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5) that God didn’t simply do this whole redemption thing to save us, or begrudgingly, but he desired us. Not generally, but uniquely. He wanted us with him. I imagine this is the doctrine of election from an experiential level.
Part of this has been for me an overwhelming sense of God’s nearness in love during times of prayer. It seems as though he rushes in on me. I’m prone to feel an awareness of my faults, but in looking to him I see the invitation to gaze upon him through Jesus Christ. In some ways it has seemed like a stretching of the soul, a delightful enjoyment of his mercies to me: Looking at my sin and seeing Christ take it on willingly; seeing him plead for me on the cross; enjoying the completed forgiveness and pure intentional grace from God bringing me near to him. Below is a poem that came out of one of these times of prayer the other night.
He to me a stamped of rain;
A tumult of an exhausted wave
My soul. Expanding, contracting,
Birthing I look to Him:….A deep stair, eyes penetrating
….Flesh is malleable here; souls are eternal.He to me gave himself on wood
A scarlet brambling brook
Dying. Serendipitous sobriety
My severe eye overflows.
….Rampant, heavy, breathing hushed;
….Nearer. Emmanuel, nearer still.
No title yet. God seeks us out. Redemption and all the glories of Christ, might I remind you, were His idea in the first place. God manifesting his glory in creation isn’t an extra way to bring in the praise (like a pay check). In the fellowship of the Eternal Trinity God had profound, deep, satisfying praise for himself already. But he desired to bring us in on the concert on his own account. This, my friends, is the awesome wonder of the love of God.
Applying 1 Corinthians 13
02 years ago
These quotes are from Jerry Bridges The Discipline of Grace, where he applies 1 Corinthians 13 to our lives in how we live in light of the Gospel. I read this several months ago and highly recommend the book to those seeking to learn how the Gospel changes how we live and view the world and those around us. I have one friend who gives the high recommendation that the firs three chapters of this book absolutely changed his life! It’s honestly that good, so I recommend it to friends and pastors as a book that discusses the simplicity of the Gospel of grace that will both teach and warm the heart for Jesus. Here are a few selections from Bridges on Christian love, stemming from 1 Corinthians 13.
On the severity of our love…
- I am patient with you because I love you and want to forgive you.
- I am kind to you because I love you and want to help you.
- I do not envy your possessions or your gifts because I love you and want you to have the best.
- I do not boast about my attainments because I love you and ant to hear about yours.
- I am not proud because I love you and want to esteem you before myself.
- I am not rude because I love you and care about your feelings.
- I am not self-seeking because I love you and want to meet your needs.
- I am not easily angered by you because I love you and want to overlook your offenses.
- I do not keep a record of your wrongs because I love you, and “love covers a multitude of sins.” (p. 39)
On the aim of our love…
“Even criticism addressed to someone should be given only with the goal of benefiting that person. It should never be given out of a spirit of impatience or irritability, or with a desire to belittle the individual. Only honest criticism given from a heart of love in a spirit of humility can qualify as that which builds up the other person.” (p. 35)
On the clothing of our love…
“God never intended that we relate to him directly. Our own performance is never good enough to be acceptable to him. The only way we can relate to God is through the blood and righteousness of Jesus Christ. It is only the blood of Jesus that cleanse us from a guilty conscience and give us the confidence to enter into the presence of God (Hebrews 10:19-21).” (p. 23)
I really recommend reading at least the first three chapters of Jerry Bridges’ The Discipline of Grace if you can find the time. As a friend once told me, those three chapters will be life transforming.
Glorification Will Never End
03 years ago
Lord, grant that from hence I may learn to withdraw my thoughts, affections, desires and expectations, entirely from the world, and may fix them upon the heavenly state; where there is fullness of joy; where reigns heavenly, sweet, calm and delightful love without alloy; where there are continually the dearest expressions of their love: where there is the enjoyment of the persons loved, without ever parting: where those persons, who appear so lovely in this world, will really be inexpressibly more lovely, and full of love to us. How sweetly will the mutual lovers join together to sing the praises of God and the Lamb! How full will it fill us with joy to think, this enjoyment, these sweet exercises, will never cease or come to an end, but will last to all eternity. (Jonathan Edwards, Diary, Wednesday, May 1, 1722; Works 16:768)
This is one of the most profound things I have been struck by over the last year. The reward to b received in Heaven is the Lord Jesus, an ever flowing monsoon of love, to be seen and enjoyed into eternity, forever. Because he is infinite, when we become like he is (1 John 3:2), this becoming shall take an eternity. Therefore, glorification will never end.
Update: Mercy4Marriage
13 years ago
The conference this weekend was great! To give a short recap, there were five speakers, four main sessions and one break-out session splitting husbands and wives.
- The first night Dave Harvey preached God’s Mercy and My Marriage. The content of this message was essentially the same, though not entirely, as chapters four and five from his book, When Sinners Say, “I Do”. Michelle really liked this sermon, not because we hadn’t heard the material before, but because hearing it, instead of reading it, filled it out in new ways for us. One of the main points from this message for me was when Dave said, “How I relate to others in their sin reveals my grasp of the Gospel.” Uh, ouch! Yea, that was my pride getting struck. He further made the points, “Mercy introduces ministry as a primary goal of marriage.” This was all quite helpful.
- Friday morning, Paul Tripp preached, Mercy and the Antisocial Nature of Sin. This has got to be the best sermon I’ve ever heard on what love is. Of all the things to note, the one I starred in my notes was his definition of love: “Love is willing self sacrifice for the good of another that does not demand reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving.
- Friday afternoon, the men and women split to hear Gary Ricucci deliver Romance for the guys, and his wife Betsy deliver God’s Mercy and My Marriage for the ladies. The notes were handed out for these, but needless to say, it was a great time for both of us. They seemed to cover a some of the material in Love That Lasts, but there was more to it. For the guys, Gary simply spoke to being intentional in pursuing our wives for the wonderful gift from God that they are. For me, I was stirred to think of new ways to romance Michelle to let her know just how important she is to me, and how thankful I am that she chose to say “Yes” and “I do” to a sinful man like me.
- Friday evening, Paul Tripp again preached for us, Mercy: The Only Hope For Real Love. He started out by saying that we are “always, every moment, receiving, and dripping with mercy… mercy is redemptive sweat!” He goes on to talk about compassion, forgiveness, and forbearance, and then talked through how mercy is costly (it’s suffering, waiting, and sacrificial). He ends by saying that mercy is intended to drive you to the end of yourself, and that nobody benefits more from the suffering, waiting, and sacrifice of mercy than the one giving it. If you want to be rich in mercy, give it all away. Again, very good and helpful.
- On Saturday morning, Aaron Osborn of Grace Community Church, and who over saw the entire conference, delivered an outstanding sermon entitled, Bright Hope For Tomorrow. This sermon really did an excellent job of tying the conference together, and giving perspective and hope for practically applying this deep content to our lives. He spoke out of 2 Corinthians 5:16-21, and talked about how ministers of mercy are controlled by the love of Christ, do not view things according to the flesh, and are ambassadors for Christ. He left me wanting to meditate more on what it means to be “controlled by love”. Aaron, while saying he’s not a Dave Harvey or Paul Tripp, really captured these guys and stood with them in being of great help to us in understanding how God’s mercy to us moves us to be more merciful towards our spouse.
So, with all that said, the conference really was great. We really enjoyed it, and had some great discussions based off of the material, as well as some great time with some other couples. God help me, a weak man, to strive after such great things (like being more merciful!) for his glory.
Desires Are The Feet Of Love
03 years ago
This is a passage from Thomas Manton that totally floored me the other day. He is discussing love:
[Love] is a gracious and holy affection, which the soul, upon the apprehension of God’s love in Christ, returneth back to God again by his own grace…Love is carried out to its object [in] two ways – by desire and delight. Our necessity and need of God is the ground of desire; and our propriety and interest is the ground of delight. Desires are the feet of love, by which it runneth after its object; and delight is the rest and contentment of the soul in the enjoyment of it. ~ Thomas Manton, Works 5:72-73
