Growing in Christ
Kidney Stones
Yours truly… P.2
02 years ago
by Jacob
in Kidney Stones
So, as you can see by the date of the post I’m linking, I’m a vigorous reader of my church’s blog. (Note, sarcasm was employed in the construction of that sentence.) So, for the desirous reader of all things Jacofied, I made a blog post at my church’s blog that some might enjoy:
Yours truly…
02 years ago
by Jacob
in Kidney Stones
I thought some readers might appreciate knowing that a blog post I did on here a year or so ago has been edited and now been posted as a new post over on my church’s blog: When Kidney Stones Take You to School.
Yours truly,
~Jacob
Kidney Stone Update
03 years ago
For those who followed my kidney stone sanctification and “fiery trial”, I wanted to post some further updates and thoughts. I had an appointment with a Urologist about a week and a half ago to tell me what the results of my tests were. The cause of my kidney stones: a healthy diet; however, a healthy diet that doesn’t give with my genetics.
The break down goes as follows. I eat a healthy diet (spinach for lunch, good food, etc. – all from the wonderful cooking of my wife). However, my diet is high in a chemical called Oxolate. In addition to this, for those who do not know, I am deathly allergic to milk. When I say allergic, for those who know the term, I have an anaphylactic reaction with milk. And for those who don’t know the term, it means that I can potentially die from ingesting milk of any kind. So, needless to say, that while I’ve had a healthy diet, I’ve been avoiding milk. “How does this relate to your kidney stones?” you ask. It relates in this way: milk consumption gives you a healthy does of calcium in your diet. Calcium and oxolate combine in your system to stay liquidized/non-solid state, and pass through your digestive system. So it turns out that my high-oxolate, and (genetically/providentially imposed) low-calcium diet produce a surplus of oxolate in my kidneys that then crystallizes and forms kidney stones. Fascinating, isn’t it!?
Going into the doctor’s appointment, I had the sneaking suspicion that my milk allergy had something to do with this whole kidney stone business. So, I left laughing a little bit to myself over this whole deal. But then, as an answer to my newfound discouragement, I realized that God gave me a wife who cares about me, and who desires to craft a healthy diet for me. So, you ask, what is oxolate in? Oh, only all of my favorite things! I’m now, by doctor’s orders and my wife’s faithfulness to follow them, on a low-oxolate diet. This means:
- No spinach for lunch (Which is “What’ev” since there’s other lettis out there, but this becomes tricky to avoid when we go to out to dinner since folks like to put it into food for good reasons)
- No soy products (Which is a major bummer, because I really like soy milk, soy ice cream, soy turkey, soy bread, etc. It’s only my milk supplement in all my food!)
- No tea (Which really got me angry – I love my afternoon tea!)
- More meat (Which is cool – I like dead animals cooks on my plate)
- Drink more water (Yuck! I’m not a big fan of water – much to the protest of that 80% or so of my body that is)
So you may be reading and wondering, “Why is Jacob posting this?” I’m posting mainly to draw out God’s providence in caring for my soul. I have not liked this whole second development on the kidney stone business. To begin with my diets fairly regulated, and now even more so. This “revelation” has shown how lazy I am to follow good advice – the kind of advice that helps you avoid pain and suffering (like kidney stones). I’ve still found my soul loving this world – using fleshly wisdom, rather than eschatological wisdom, the Spirit’s wisdom that looks to the New Heavens and the New Earth. As Richard B. Gaffin, Jr. comments on 1 Corinthians 2:12 – “Common grace –unlike special, gospel grace – is of ‘this age’; it is not eschatological” (Westminster Theological Journal, Vol. 57, No.1 – Spring 1995, p. 121). This event has shown that I care more about my present comfort and my determination to do little to make it change. I have been thinking with unspiritual, unredeemed tools. Redeemed mental tools look to the return of Christ, they are eschatological in their view.
Further, if I were completely honest, I just don’t like God’s plan on this. I don’t like it that God has constructed my body in such a way that I must give diligent care to its inner balance. I actually don’t like it that God hasn’t consulted me about me. I don’t like God’s providence; ultimately, I don’t like it that I’m not God. What a wretch I am! My little kidney stone has shown very much of my heart. I am a sinner to the core. As King David says, “there is no health in my bones because of my sin” (Ps. 38:3). But I have been drawn to think on God’s providence in this, his care for my soul. A line and image from Samuel Rutherford has stuck out to me recently. He says (to a different matter, but still applicable to my own soul), “the wicked may hold the bitter cup to your head, but god mixeth it, and there is no poison in it” (Letters of Samuel Rutherford, Letter XII, 54). This whole ordeal, with my body and such, is a cup straight from the hand of my Lord Jesus. Should I refuse this lesser cup when he’s already given me his cup of salvation, and the promise of that final cup of glory? I have been revealed through this simple process to be a weak man. Thankfully, I have a strong Savior.
Reflections on My Kidney Stones
03 years ago
This is going to be a bit of a different post than usual, more of a journal entry, so feel free to skip it if it’s not of interest.
I had my second kidney stone come upon me today. The little guy is just 3mm big – and I’m still waiting for him to make his final appearance. The day went as follows: I went to the doctor in the morning because my pain and discomfort were getting worse; they confirmed it was a kidney stone; I went to another place for a Cat Scan to see where it was; went to work for a bit; came home because the pain was really bad; the pain got worse over the next two hours; I threw up because the pain was so bad; we went to the emergency room upon the guidance of my doctor; got an I-V of stronger pain medication; reflected on God’s goodness with Michelle in the ER room; and eventually came home with new medicine and feeling a lot better.
Anyhow, so below are a few thoughts upon this occasion:
- God has been so good to give me these kidney stones. They’re painful no doubt. Through it, I’ve seen so many vast caverns of grace he has put in my life. I’ve seen his glory radiating in my heart and life – and my wife’s as well in ways that are only particularly seen when the heat of pain is intensified.
- Through the pain, I found my life being more conformed around God than I had expected. Though it was extremely painful, I found myself praying God’s truths to him, praying his Scripture to him, praying his character to him. However, it wasn’t like I was suddenly filled with joy at that moment. But I was preaching a universe-changing message to myself in a moment of dire pain – I was preaching the Gospel. I was thankful to be able to remember some Scripture to mind that I could speak to myself – it’s an encouragement to memorize more Scripture, but also an encouragement that even the most random Scriptures can breath life to a weary soul (for example, I was reciting the first few lines of Ps. 36 to myself – not exactly a “hey, you’ll get better” text!). There is a power in God’s word and truth to always be working. It seems to me that even having a mind focused on God is not something for me to be praised for, but rather God, who’s given me that gift in this situation. I wouldn’t want to look at God when my body’s being destroyed, but God’s Spirit, who moves within me to look at Jesus does.
- God was good to prevent this stone from coming earlier. I had my first kidney stone two weeks ago to the day, just two days before we were about to leave on (essentially) two weeks of vacation. Thankfully it passed the morning we were leaving, and while I had a few bouts with the second during those two weeks, it never was debilitating. I remember feeling the second one coming on about half way through the trip when we’d come home for a couple days before our second leg of the vacation. Kidney stones feel a certain way, so it’s not just like a lower back pain. So upon feeling this, I bent down, and I quietly asked my Father to take it away. I felt his nearness, and went to bed knowing that he’d heard me either way. Obviously he didn’t take it away, but he did push it aside until the best time for me. What a great Father!
- I look with a deeper affection on Jesus Christ with an anticipation of when these bodies will be glorified. As the pain increased, and in reflection, my knowledge and understanding that this body is decarying, that it is not perfect to sustain God’s work in me grows. That, in fact, in my weakness his strength is revealed. How often to I actually glory in my weakness? Folks, I’m a prideful man, so I like being strong. But I’m seeing how my weakness actually is God’s preferred instrument to display his might – and this doesn’t mean that I’m then given a Porsche body this side of heaven. This body is under a curse as with the rest of creation, but where as this is true from Romans 8:19-23, it is also true from the end of Romans that nothing can separate us from the love of Jesus Christ for us (v. 35), and that all things work for our good (v.28). And what is this good?
- It also gave me a taste for what Christ saved me from: Hell and God’s wrath. The pain was bad, but not to damnation – however, I caught a faint glimpse of the horrors of Hell, the screams of torment, the anguish of body that only faintly can reflect the wrath of God pressing in on a soul.
I pray that God presses all these things on my mind to remember, to press on with, to love him and his Gospel more through. I love God more now – I find myself loving the things of the world less. Oh God, write your Law on my heart through these things that I might walk in your statues more closely to honor your name, to walk in the fruits of holiness that Christ bought me fore, that I might enjoy you more, and find Christ more and more satisfying!
