Charity and Its Fruits

A while back, somebody recommended Jonathan Edwards’ Charity and Its Fruits as a helpful tool in putting self-righteousness to death. Being a little… um, slow to come around?… I’ve only just now started to read it. Kind of like that house project that you’ll look at every day, and think, “Yea… I need to do something about that. I know exactly what I’ll do!…. Oh darn, look, there’s a butterfly and the ice cream truck and Oreos!…” And there it went, your golden moment to do a 10 minute chore. But at least it was for Oreos.

So I’ve finally been reading Charity and Its Fruits, and have been deeply struck by Jonathan Edwards’ thoughts on the nature of love as I’ve been working through this issue of self-righteousness in my heart. He pulls from 1 Corinthians 13 and says that Love is not driven by the benefits one receives from another, but is driven by the beauty seen in another. Therefore we love God because he is beautiful and holy – not just because we received the benefit of salvation. Our love for God is captivated with the person of God in Jesus Christ – 2 Corinthians 4:6, not merely with the benefits of God’s goodness to us in Jesus Christ.

Here’s a practical example. I’ve seen lately how my love for my wife is often driven by my love of the great things that come from being married to her. (For a sample listing, just visit her blog here, and you’ll see that she’s awesome – seriously.) The question for me to consider in my relationship with Michelle is this: Do I simply love Michelle for all the great gifts and talents that Michelle has that make me happy, or do I love Michelle for the great and beautiful woman that she is on her own merit, irrespective of my benefit from her?

This distinction speaks to the reality of what D.A. Carson says is “self-originating love” (Showing the Spirit, 65). The problem with leaving what I’ve said above as the final statement on how I should approach loving my wife is that it doesn’t really capture the full character of love. Because, let’s be honest – we’re all really not that lovely all the time. You know it, and your mirror (and conscience) tell you every morning.

Carson gives us some helpful words on this point:

Of course, unlike God’s love, our [self-originating love] is not absolutely self-originating; but it is self-originating in the sense that God’s grace so transforms the believer that his or her responses of love emerge out of the matrix of Christian character, and are correspondingly less dependent on the loveliness of the object. (Showing the Spirit, 65)

So, what I should be saying is this: I love my wife because God’s grace has so transformed me to love, that my orientation to her – lovely or not – is love. Love then, is not merely a posture, but one’s character.

That’s interesting, I guess I’ve never really thought of that before (though I’ve certainly read it or heard it before).

I wonder how it would change my marriage to Michelle for me to pray to not merely respond to the beauty of who she is with love, but to be defined by a character of love. Maybe I’d be less snippy with her when I’ve neglected to taken out the trash and impute that global offense on to her neglected responsibilities… Maybe I’ll be more genuinely interested in her trials or adventures over dinner at the end of the day, and less interested in every fleeting thought about the horrible state of drivers in Pennsylvania… Maybe I’d be more interested in snuggling with her than trying to think of the next thing to do on the schedule…

Needless to say, should anybody ever wonder why I’m reading a book on the nature of love, they should really ask if they know me. I’m not a loving guy by nature. But then again, by nature I was in love with an inheritence of sin and wrath… But by God’s grace, I’m not in love with that anymore, but am in the Kingdom of Light.

Holy Spirit, light the way of love.